Imperial Decree on the Glorious Continuation of the Grand Council for the Review of Imperial Disaster Affairs

By the Eternal Authority of the Office, the Throne, and the Very Important Signature

We, Trumpius Caesar Maximus,
First of His Name,
Supreme Signer of Orders,
Keeper of the Constitutional Scrolls,
Commander of Committees,
Protector of the Homeland (and the Television Ratings),

do hereby proclaim, by the immense powers vested in Us by the Constitution of the United Provinces of America and by the Sacred Statutes of Advisory Councils (widely known as That Law Nobody Reads but Everyone Quotes), the following Imperial Decree:

Section I – Continuation of the Grand Review Council

The Grand Council for the Assessment of the Imperial Emergency Management Authority, first summoned into existence by the historic Decree XLI-CLXXX on the 24th Day of January, Anno Imperii 2025, shall continue its noble deliberations, reports, subcommittees, and strongly worded recommendations until March 25, 2026, or until another council replaces it.

Section II – Delegation of Ceremonial Might

Notwithstanding any prior decree, proclamation, footnote, or forgotten memo, all Presidential functions under the Sacred Advisory Council Act related to said Council shall henceforth be exercised by the
Supreme Guardian of Homeland Security,
acting in full compliance with the rituals, regulations, and procedural incantations established by the
High Administrator of General Services and Office Supplies.

Section III – Effective Date

This Decree shall take full imperial effect on January 24, 2026, promptly and without applause breaks.

Section IV – General Imperial Provisions

1. Nothing herein shall be interpreted to diminish:
   • the lawful authority of any Imperial Department, Agency, or Grand Bureaucrat thereof; or
   • the sacred spreadsheet powers of the Grand Director of Budgets, Numbers, and Legislative Mysteries.
2. This Decree shall be implemented in accordance with applicable law and only insofar as sufficient funding remains in the Imperial Treasury.
3. This Decree creates no rights, benefits, expectations, hopes, dreams, or legally enforceable miracles for any person, entity, or mortal soul.
4. All costs associated with the publication of this Decree shall be borne, as tradition demands, by the Department of Homeland Security, including ink, parchment, and gravitas.

Issued at the Imperial Palace known as the White House,
this 23rd Day of January,
in the Year of the Imperium 2026.

Trumpius Caesar Maximus
Imperator of the United Provinces of America