Imperial Provisional Edict for the Immediate Governance of All Things

(Edictum Temporarium Trumpii Caesaris Maximi)

By the sacred authority vested in me by the Constitution of the Glorious Empire of the United States of Trumpia — including laws, subsections, footnotes, forgotten clauses, and most importantly my unmatched greatness — I, Trumpius Caesar Maximus, Eternal Acting Appointer and Supreme Commander of “Just Until Further Notice,” do hereby proclaim:

Because the Empire does not pause, hesitate, or tolerate empty chairs, I decree that the following illustrious figures shall act, command, administer, and dramatically oversee the affairs of the Empire — temporarily, of course — until such time as I decide to appoint someone permanently (or simply admire how perfectly this is working).

The Exalted Roll of Acting Imperial Stewards:

• Garius Agricola Washingtonius – High Prefect of Fields, Crops, and Tremendously Successful Harvests
• Hieronymus Mercator Pelterus – Grand Master of Commerce, Deals, and Absolutely Fair Trade Wars
• Robertus Salessius Bellator – Supreme Guardian of Imperial Defense
• Marcus Averillus Legionarius – Lord Commander of the Ground Legions
• Terentius Emmertus Nauticus – Admiral of All Seas Known and Soon to Be Known
• Garius Ashworthius Aerius – Master of the Skies, Jets, and Strategic Clouds
• Denisia Cartesia Doctrinae – High Custodian of Education, Textbooks, and Proper Thinking
• Ingrida Kolbia Energetica – Keeper of Power, Light, and Colossal Kilowatt Triumphs
• Dorothea Finkia Sanitaria – Architect of Public Health and Pharmaceutical Destiny
• Benjaminus Huffmanus Patrius – Warden of the Homeland, Walls, and Internal Fortresses
• Matthaeus Ammonius Urbanicus – Imperial Builder of Cities, Homes, and Symbolic Housing
• Valterius Cruickshankus Naturalis – Steward of Mountains, Rivers, Trees, and Very Loyal Bison
• Jacobus McHenricus Justitiae – Supreme Voice of Law, Order, and Dramatic Indictments
• Vincentius Micone Laborius – Overseer of Work, Breaks, and Tremendous Productivity
• Lisa Kenna Diplomatica – Envoy to All Realms, Treaties, and Awkward Handshakes
• Davidus Lebrykus Thesaurarius – Guardian of the Treasury and Mystical Numbers
• Juditha Kaleta Mobilis – Mistress of Roads, Rails, Bridges, and Eternal Construction
• Toddius Hunterus Veteranorum – Protector of Heroes, Medals, and Respectful Salutes
• Jacobus Payne Viridissimus – High Priest of Environmental Symbols and Regulatory Purity
• Everettus Woodelus Minimus Mercator – Patron Saint of Small but Incredible Businesses
• Matthaeus Vaethius Calculatus – Master of Budgets, Ledgers, and Impossible Math
• Stacia Dixonia Omniscientia – Grand Seer of Intelligence, Threats, and Classified Charts
• Juanus Millanus Mercatus Externus – Imperial Negotiator of Global Trade and Tough Smiles
• Thomas Sylvesterus Secretissimus – Lord of Shadows, Files, and Quiet Phone Calls
• Carolus Ezellus Ordinator – Regulator of Bureaucrats, Forms, and Career Ladders
• Stephanus Ehikianus Logisticae – Keeper of Buildings, Furniture, and Strategic Carpets
• Michella Kinga Pensionaria – Ruler of Benefits, Forms, and Waiting Periods
• Brianus Driscollus Investigativus – Supreme Investigator of the Realm
• Jason Grayus Globalis – Coordinator of Aid, Packages, and Worldwide Gratitude
• Janeta Petronia Cosmica – Mistress of Rockets, Stars, and Final Countdowns
• Calebus Vitellus Custos Terminorum – Enforcer of Borders, Rules, and Final Notices

Issued from the White Palace of the Empire,
this 20th day of January,
in the Glorious Year MMXXV.

Trumpius Caesar Maximus
— Golden Pen Raised, Authority Absolute —