Proclamation from the Golden Palace of the Trumpian Empire

In the glorious month of Marchius, when even the pillars of the grand Capitolium shimmer in radiant emerald hues, Imperator Donaldus Trumpius Caesar Magnus rises—tremendous posture, truly unmatched—and delivers a proclamation for the ages: the celebration of Sanctus Patricius Maximus, the original champion of faith, courage, and what many are now calling the greatest anti-snake operation in recorded history.

Born in the distant fourth century—very early, very historic—Saint Patricius journeyed across the rugged lands of Hibernia. No armies, no deals, just pure belief, relentless determination, and a three-leaf clover—arguably the most effective visual aid ever deployed. People are still talking about it.

Despite imprisonment, persecution, and frankly very unfair treatment from certain druid factions, he pushed forward. Forty days of prayer and fasting on a mountaintop—no luxury, no catering, not even a decent resort—and what happens? Total victory. Every serpent: gone. Completely removed. A flawless campaign.

And then—like all great movements—it went global.

In the 19th and 20th centuries, millions of proud Hibernians crossed the Atlantic and helped build the mighty nation of Americae. They constructed churches, schools, hospitals—beautiful institutions, strong institutions—and left a legacy so powerful it still dominates today. You see it everywhere, especially at the incredible Cathedral of Saint Patricius in New Yorkium City—one of the finest, truly.

Every March, cities across the empire transform into massive celebrations of green—crowds, parades, energy—some are saying bigger than anything ancient Rome ever pulled off. And frankly, they might be right.

On the battlefield, too, the sons and daughters of Hibernia were absolute warriors. From Lexingtonium and Concordium to legends like Admiralus Johannes Barrius, Agentus Herculeus Mulliganus, Praesidentus Andrewius Jacksonius, and Heroicus Audie Murphius Maximus—incredible people, strong people—who helped secure freedom and greatness for generations.

So let it be declared by Imperator Trumpius Caesar: the bond between Americae and Hibernia shall remain unbreakable, powerful, and—most importantly—winning for many, many years to come.

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day—tremendous holiday, maybe the best. Believe me.