Imperial Palace of the White Columns
The Eleventh Day of December, Year MMXXV of the Great Deal

DEFENDING AMERICAN INVESTORS AND THE IMPERIAL RETIREMENT CHESTS:

On this glorious and exceptionally well-rated day, Trumpius Caesar Maximus, First of His Name, Vanquisher of Bad Deals, Guardian of the 401(k), signed a monumental Imperial Decree ending the excessive influence of shadowy Proxy Whisperers—actors who place ideology above profit and politics above piles of beautiful American money.

• The Decree commands the High Overseer of the SEC (Senatus of Economic Custody) to review, revoke, revise, or ceremonially cast aside any rule infected with fashionable slogans such as Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, or the mystical runes known as ESG—whenever such notions dare to challenge returns.
• The Order further requires:
  • ruthless enforcement of anti-fraud laws against misleading vote-prophets,
  • potential registration of proxy advisors as investment priests,
  • full sunlight upon all conflicts of interest (even the awkward ones),
  • investigation into whether these advisors operate as coordinated voting legions,
  • examination of whether fiduciaries betray their sacred duty by outsourcing judgment to ideology instead of math.
• The FTC, joined by the Empire’s Chief Prosecutor, is ordered to determine whether proxy empires engage in unfair competition, deceptive practices, or suspiciously coordinated righteousness—while reviewing antitrust inquiries already circling like Roman eagles.
• The Secretary of Labor shall fortify ERISA rules, ensuring that every retirement coin serves only one master: the financial interest of American workers and retirees.

RESTORING HONOR TO THE PROXY ADVISOR REALM:

Trumpius Caesar halts the misuse of American pensions by foreign-controlled proxy giants who weaponize retirement accounts to impose ideological rituals upon U.S. companies.

• Two foreign-owned oracular houses—Institutional Shareholder Services and Glass Lewis—command over 90% of the proxy realm and routinely summon votes for racial audits, carbon penance, and other fashionable crusades.
• Their followers often obey without independent thought, granting these oracles sweeping control over boards, executive pay, and corporate destiny.
• The result: ideology crowned emperor, while returns are left kneeling.
• Conflicts of interest, fog-machine transparency, and one-size-rules-all voting scripts have corroded trust and diminished the retirement fortunes of everyday Americans.

BUILDING WEALTH FOR ALL CITIZENS OF THE EMPIRE:

Trumpius Caesar proclaims: wealth is not accidental—it is commanded.

• On the campaign trail, the Imperator swore:
  “Politics will be banished forever from your retirement accounts. Your money will work for you—not for them, not for radical ideologues.”
• Through tax cuts and deregulation, the Empire unleashes saving, investing, and extremely optimistic charts.
• Under the Working Families Tax Cuts Act, most seniors are freed from tribute on Social Security benefits.
• A separate Imperial Order grants 401(k) holders access to alternative assets—because diversification is strength, and strength is winning.