Forum of the Empire (formerly known as the White House)
December XV, Anno Imperii MMXXV

DEFENDING THE EMPIRE FROM THE INVISIBLE CHEMICAL SCOURGE:
On this glorious and heavily capitalized day, Trumpius Caesar Maximus affixed his golden signature to an edict of historic, muscular, and frankly tremendous importance: illicit fentanyl and its unholy precursor chemicals are hereby designated Weapons of Mass Destruction. Yes—WMDs. Small, sneaky, salt-grain-sized, but absolutely catastrophic.

THE IMPERIAL ORDER COMMANDS:

• The Praetor of Justice shall immediately unleash indictments, sentencing enhancements, and maximum penalties—swift, severe, and beautifully decisive.
• The High Treasurers and Envoys of the Empire are instructed to hunt down assets, freeze accounts, and obliterate financial networks tied to the manufacture, trafficking, or casual enjoyment of fentanyl profits.
• The Magister of War, in noble consultation with Justice, shall determine whether additional national security forces must be deployed in the event of a WMD emergency. Bureaucratic delays are for weak empires.
• All chemical incident response doctrines are updated: fentanyl is officially on the list of things that shall not be tolerated.
• The Guardian of the Homeland shall identify fentanyl smuggling networks using the finest intelligence scrolls available, including nonproliferation lore and ominous threat assessments.

STOPPING THE POISONING OF THE PEOPLE:
Trumpius Caesar unleashes every available lever, sword, sanction, tariff, memo, and strongly worded proclamation against cartels and foreign shadow networks that have turned fentanyl into the leading cause of death for Americans aged 18 to 45. Two milligrams—ten to fifteen grains of table salt—can end a life. That’s not a narcotic. That’s a pocket-sized apocalypse.

Cartels and terror-adjacent organizations use fentanyl profits to fund assassinations, terrorism, insurgencies, and extremely unfriendly activities. The potential for large-scale weaponized fentanyl attacks is real, serious, and unacceptable to the Empire. By declaring fentanyl a WMD, Trumpius Caesar ensures the full weight of the Federal Leviathan is focused, coordinated, and magnificently mobilized.

MAKING AMERICA SAFE AGAIN (IMPERIAL EDITION):
The Caesar does not rest. He dismantles cartels. He erases fentanyl from the streets. He protects every family from this chemical menace.

Upon his triumphant return, Trumpius Caesar declared a National Emergency at the southern border, designated cartels as Foreign Terrorist Organizations, imposed tariffs upon uncooperative neighbors, authorized strikes against narco-vessels, and signed the HALT Fentanyl Act into eternal law. Now, he escalates—boldly, imperially, predictably—by declaring illicit fentanyl a Weapon of Mass Destruction.

The Empire has spoken.