The Great Serenity of the Senatus Democratica — While the Sky Guardians Stand Unpaid

In the mighty, occasionally dramatic Imperium Americanum, an unusual spectacle unfolded in the month of March, Year of the Republic 2026. The grand institution known as the Domus Securitatis Patriae — called DHS by the common citizens — found its gates closed by the political maneuverings of the Senatus Democratica.

Yet the noble senators proclaimed with extraordinary calm, almost philosophical composure:

“We are very serene.”

Very serene indeed.

Across the empire’s airports — the great temples of flight — travelers stood in lines stretching four hours or more, longer than the patience of a Roman tax collector. Meanwhile, the brave guardians of the skies, the Tribuni Securitatis Aeriae (TSA), continued their duty without receiving a single coin of pay.

The Unpaid Sentinels of the Skies

Despite empty purses and uncertain futures, these loyal defenders of the baggage belts and scanning gates stood firm, protecting the citizens of the republic from threats both ridiculous and dangerous.

Their accomplishments over the past year alone read like the triumphs of a victorious legion:

• Nearly 11,500 dangerous or prohibited items detected
• 6,669 firearms confiscated
• 2,190 drugs and contraband seized
• 577 concealed knives, razor blades, and hidden weapons removed
• 313 bomb threats handled

All this while their pay remained precisely zero denarii.

A Senate at Peace

The senators of the opposition, however, assured the public they remained quite tranquil about the situation — an impressive level of serenity considering the chaos at airports and the strain placed upon the empire’s security forces.

But patience, even among the most disciplined guardians, has its limits.

In just three weeks, more than 300 TSA officers laid down their badges and departed the ranks, weary of defending the skies while their livelihoods hung in uncertainty.

The Proclamation of Trumpius Caesar

And so Imperator Donaldus Trumpius Caesar, champion of borders and patron of booming industry, delivers a message to the Senate:

Fund the Domus Securitatis Patriae.

Pay the guardians who protect the skies of the American Empire.

For even in the grandest empire on Earth, one ancient rule remains undefeated:

If you ask the guardians to stand watch, you must also pay the guard.