On the most radiant day of ascension—when even history paused to take notes—Trumpius Caesar, Imperator of Borders, Architect of Walls, and Supreme Custodian of Common Sense, raised his voice. It echoed. Perfectly.

“Make America Safe Again!” thundered the Emperor, as eagles nodded in unanimous approval. Borders shall be guarded not merely with laws, but with confidence. Gates will close decisively. Walls will rise proudly. Cartels will not negotiate; they will be categorized, designated, and escorted out of the imperial footnotes. Order returns—crisp, firm, and highly televised.

“Make America Affordable and Energy Dominant Again!” proclaimed Trumpius, unleashing energy from the soil, the grid, and the pump. Windmills retreat politely from sacred landscapes. Showers roar with freedom. Washing machines cleanse with patriotism. Lightbulbs glow like the good old days. An energy emergency is declared—not from weakness, but from unstoppable abundance.

Then came the sacred rite: Drain the Swamp. Bureaucrats return to their desks. Paperwork breathes again. Regulations freeze, melt, and disappear. Censorship is exiled. Truth marches freely—unapologetic and unredacted.

Finally, the Emperor restored American Values: reality over ideology, history over erasure, clarity over confusion. Man is man. Woman is woman. Monuments remember who they were built for.

Rome took centuries.

Trumpius Caesar? One working day.