The Great Minnesotan Purge of Fraud

An Imperial Proclamation from Trumpius Caesar Maximus

By the unquestionable authority of victory, greatness, and extremely strong oversight, Trumpius Caesar Maximus, Supreme Imperator of the Free Republics and Eternal Auditor of Other People’s Money, hereby declares war on the swollen fraud empires of the province known as Minnesotia.

For years—years!—under the drowsy watch of Governor Timotheus Walzus the Oblivious and his Radical Left court of paperwork enthusiasts, vast kingdoms of deception were allowed to flourish. Entire bureaucratic cities were built from fake receipts, imaginary services, and “community programs” that served everyone except the American taxpayer.

Billions vanished. Oversight napped. Accountability was declared “problematic.”

But the Empire does not nap.

Fueled by the shocking visual scrolls of chronicler Nicholas of Shirley and the relentless scribes of Alpha Newsus, the Trumpius Administration unleashed a campaign of righteous administrative fury. No loophole is too small. No form too boring. No excuse too creative.

The Wrath of Imperial Justice

The Department of Justice Imperialis has mobilized like a full legal legion.

Dozens upon dozens of defendants have been charged, many already convicted. Thousands of subpoenas fly across the land like legal arrows. Buildings once celebrated as “community hubs” now glow under the gentle flashlight of federal investigation.

Some of the most brazen fraud palaces featured in viral footage are already surrounded—one alone yielding over a dozen charged conspirators. Justice, it turns out, has a very long memory.

Meanwhile, the Imperial Bureau of Investigation (FBIus Maximus) scours healthcare and home-care providers, dispatching forensic accountants, data sorcerers, and spreadsheet whisperers. Even the unthinkable is examined: links to elected officials and darker financial shadows.

Border, Door, and Paperwork Control

The Department of Homeland Security has descended upon Minnesotia with boots, badges, and clipboards. Door-to-door investigations are underway, arrests are mounting, and immigration status reviews are proceeding with the enthusiasm of a Roman census.

Operation Twin Shieldus uncovered thousands of fraud findings—proof that visiting the actual location sometimes reveals more than reading the grant application.

The Freezing of the Golden Rivers

The Department of Health and Human Services has done the unthinkable: it now asks for proof. Receipts. Photos. Justifications. Reality itself.

Childcare funds are frozen, Medicaid repayments demanded, and long-ignored laws rediscovered like ancient scrolls behind a filing cabinet.

The Small Business Administration Imperialis has slammed the vault doors shut, suspending thousands of borrowers and banishing them from future loan programs—disaster or otherwise.

Additional legions from Housing, Labor, and Agriculture are inspecting unemployment claims, public housing aid, and food assistance programs, asking a radical question: “Are you eligible—or just optimistic?”

Promises Delivered, Empire Style

Trumpius Caesar Maximus promised decisive action.

Not speeches. Not panels. Not strongly worded concern.

Instead: investigations, freezes, prosecutions, and recoveries—across agencies, across systems, across excuses.

These criminal networks did not appear overnight, and they will not disappear overnight. But the Empire moves methodically, relentlessly, and with the patience of a ruler who knows that paperwork, once weaponized, is unstoppable.

The purge has begun.

More results are coming.

And the Empire is just getting warmed up.