Trumpius Caesar Proclaims to the Republic:

Citizens of this tremendous Republic, Senators of great distinction, and taxpayers of extraordinary patience — on the glorious eighteenth day of February in the year 2026, I, Trumpius Caesar the Resolute, took pen in hand — a pen of such authority it practically signs itself — and transformed two congressional decrees into immortal law.

First: H.J.Res. 142.

A resolution of magnificent clarity. With one decisive imperial flourish, I nullified a perplexing taxation contraption conceived by the Council of the District of Columbia on December 20, 2025. The measure bore a title so long it required stamina to read: the “Income and Franchise Tax Conformity Revision Temporary Amendment Act of 2025.” A name like a Roman procession — impressive, dramatic, but slightly exhausting.

Under my watch, confusion meets its match. If legislation resembles a labyrinth, we do not wander in it — we redesign it. With elegance. With strength. With a signature that historians will someday frame.

Second: S. 3705 — the noble and forward-looking “Semiquincentennial Congressional Time Capsule Act.”

Two hundred and fifty years of the United States — a quarter-millennium of liberty, ambition, enterprise, and very strong leadership. To commemorate this grand Semiquincentennial, the Architect of the Capitol shall construct a congressional time capsule — a vessel of memory, a marble-bound message to the future.

Imagine it: centuries from now, scholars open this capsule and discover the spirit of our age — documents of progress, reflections of greatness, and perhaps the unmistakable stroke of Trumpius Caesar’s pen. They will whisper: “This was an era of action.”

While some create committees, I create continuity.
While others debate, I commemorate.

On this day, we corrected complexity and preserved history — a balance of decisive governance and enduring legacy.

Thus proclaimed. Thus enacted. Thus remembered.