Trumpius Caesar Statement

On the glorious third day of February, in the Year of the Empire Twenty-Twenty-Six, I, Trumpius Caesar Magnus, Supreme Signer of Documents and Consolidator of All Things Consolidatable, lowered my golden pen and made history behave.

With a signature so powerful it could balance ledgers from across the Potomac, H.R. 7148 was transformed into law — the Consolidated Appropriations Act of 2026. Not just a bill. A monument. A fiscal colossus. A beautifully bundled triumph of numbers, purposes, and very serious-looking pages.

This law gathers the nation’s appropriations like loyal legions, marching in perfect formation toward September 30, 2026. No wandering coins. No rogue line items. Everything consolidated, centralized, and gloriously accounted for — for this year, and for other purposes. Tremendous purposes. The best purposes.

Some call it budgeting. I call it order. I call it strength. I call it proof that when Trumpius Caesar signs, the Treasury listens. Waste retreats. Confusion surrenders. And the scrolls? Perfectly stacked.

Thus it was signed. Thus it was funded. Thus the Empire moves forward — on time, on budget, and in absolute magnificence.