Imperial Allies
An empire does not arise by chance.
It grows through strength, through loyalty — and through the right allies.
At the side of Trumpius stand not just any partners, but hand-selected imperial allies: proven allies, strategic partners, and exceptional power players who do not merely accompany the Empire, but actively help shape it. Each of them brings unique strengths, proven achievements, and a clear ambition: to accomplish great things.
These allies stand for quality, reliability, and an unshakable will to not merely manage affairs, but to command them. Together, ideas are forged, projects are built, and decisions are made that endure — sometimes quietly, often effectively, always imperially.
Below, we present those with whom history is written.
Or at least looks extremely convincing while doing so.
They do not arrive with swords.
They arrive with agenda papers, committee minutes, and the firm belief that “this is how it’s always been done.”
banahlen.de is the natural counterforce to municipal policy endbosses: to meeting logic that exists only to justify itself, to bureaucratic acrobatics made of sentences without subjects, and to decisions nobody wanted but everyone can explain. Here, satirical precision meets local reality — with the clear goal of saying the unsayable and finally making the unreadable readable.
What elsewhere is dismissed as a “necessary constraint” is dissected here.
What is sold as having no alternative is given alternatives — or at least laughter.
And what disappears into the minutes reliably resurfaces at banahlen.
An imperial ally that does not fight, but exposes.
And proves this: the real endbosses wear no masks — they wear agenda item 7b.
Where others comment, Ronald Tramp decrees.
This site is not a platform — it is a stage. And on it stands a man who knows everything, knows everything better, and knows it louder than anyone else.
ronald-tramp.de is the official chronicle of a fictional explainer of the world, blending reality, grandiosity, and self-praise into a unique art form. As an imperial ally, Ronald Tramp delivers majestic monologues, epoch-defining assessments, and historical retrospectives of events that often haven’t even happened yet — but have long since been won by him, at least emotionally.
Nothing is relativized here.
Here, things are proclaimed.
With absolute certainty, maximum confidence, and a factual framework that flexibly adapts to personal brilliance.
An imperial ally that shows what power sounds like when it interviews itself.
And proves this: history is not written by the victor — but by the one with the best sunglasses.
Where others are still debating, Satiressum delivers judgment.
This site is not an opinion blog — it is a satirical authority. A place where political absurdities, societal self-deceptions, and media outrage rituals are not merely commented on, but put on trial.
satiressum.de serves as an imperial corrective: sharp, analytical, and uncompromisingly humorous. Satire here is not treated as decoration, but as a method. The texts function simultaneously as indictment, mirror, and verdict — with a sharp pen, a clear stance, and a firm commitment to exposing flawed thinking in public.
What elsewhere is still called a “debate” is already on the dissection table here.
What is sold as morally without alternative is met with questions. Many questions.
And usually with a very uncomfortable echo.
An imperial ally that does not seek approval, but delivers impact.
And proves this: satire is not an opinion — it is a stress test for reality.