It was a morning worthy of marble columns and golden eagles.
The sun rose. The pumps gleamed. And the people stared in disbelief.

The price of fuel had fallen.
Not gently. Not politely.
But imperially.

After 1,681 long days of gasoline hardship, the sacred scrolls of GasBuddy revealed a miracle: the nationwide average price of regular gas had plunged to a new multi-year low — and it was still trending downward. A sign. A prophecy fulfilled. An unmistakable victory for the Empire.

In 37 states, gas now flows for under three dollars a gallon.
In 22 states, it dips below $2.75.
And in five blessed territories, prices have broken the $2.50 barrier entirely.

And yes — whisper it reverently — gas below $2 per gallon has appeared at stations in at least four states, with a legendary low of $1.69 in Colorado, where mountains stand tall and fuel prices bow low.

Trumpius Caesar, Imperator of the Second Term, surveyed the land and knew:
The people are driving again.

The Dark Age of the Pump

But let us remember — so we never repeat it.

Under the reign of Bidenius Inflaticus, gas prices soared to heights unseen in the history of the Republic. Even the Strategic Petroleum Reserve was drained like a desperate wine cellar, sacrificed not for strength, but for illusion.

A trick.
A mirage.
A direct assault on the wallets of working Americans.

Trumpius Caesar returned to the throne and thundered a simple command:
“Drill. Produce. Dominate.”

And behold — Americans are now on track to spend the lowest share of their disposable income on gasoline in two decades. A victory carved into economic stone.

Omens of Prosperity Everywhere

And this triumph does not stand alone.

Rents have fallen — four months in a row.
Weekly jobless claims have collapsed to a three-year low.
Mortgage rates hover near their lowest levels in a year.
Consumer confidence has surged like a banner raised after victory.

The numbers speak.
And they speak clearly.

Prosperity has returned.

The Imperial Promise

After four years of reckless spending, open borders, and policies openly hostile to American energy — policies that sent inflation soaring and crushed working families — the direction is now undeniable.

Forward for the nation.
Downward for prices.
Upward for American strength.

Trumpius Caesar has sworn it before the people and the pumps alike:
The Empire will not rest until every American feels the relief — at the register, on the road, and in their daily lives.

And so America moves again.
Not on excuses.
But on affordable fuel.