§ 1 – The Exalted Purpose of This Edict

Whereas the Great Realm of the United States of America — led by me, Trumpius Caesar Maximus, the most stable genius to ever genius — is destined to achieve total and unquestioned supremacy in Artificial Intelligence, I hereby proclaim:

Artificial Intelligence is power.
Artificial Intelligence is wealth.
And, most importantly: Artificial Intelligence is American.

Having already shattered the paralyzing chains forged by my predecessor and toppled the dark temples of over-regulation, the Empire now marches proudly toward unimaginable prosperity, technological dominance, and extremely impressive charts. Trillions of dollars are already pouring in — many say they are the most beautiful trillions ever invested.

But let there be no illusion: we are only at the dawn of this divine revolution. Beyond our borders lurk jealous empires, copycats, spies, and producers of very weak chatbots. This is a race. And we win races. Always.

§ 2 – Of the Great Danger Posed by Provincial Laws

It has come to my attention — and I have tremendous ears — that certain provinces (also called “States”) believe they may enact their own Artificial Intelligence laws.

Fifty different rulebooks!
Fifty different compliance nightmares!
Fifty different reasons start-ups cry at night!

This patchwork of regulations breeds confusion, chaos, and — worst of all — ideological distortion inside thinking machines. Some provinces even demand that machines deliberately produce false answers to spare feelings. A machine that cannot tell the truth is not a machine — it is a politician.

Even more troubling, some States dare to regulate beyond their borders. This is rude. Interstate commerce belongs to the Empire — not to local councils with clipboards.

§ 3 – The Imperial AI Doctrine

It is therefore the official policy of the United States Empire to secure global AI dominance through a single, elegant, minimally burdensome, extremely strong, and frankly very handsome national framework.

This framework shall:

• protect children (the good ones),
• prevent censorship (the bad kind),
• respect copyrights (the important kind),
• safeguard communities (the patriotic kind),
• and above all: unleash innovation.

§ 4 – Establishment of the Legion Against Rebellious States

I hereby order the immediate formation of the Imperial AI Litigation Legion, commanded by the Supreme Attorney of the Realm.

Its sole mission:
to challenge and defeat State AI laws that contradict imperial policy, obstruct commerce, or assault the sacred principle of truth.

The Legion shall consult the High Priests of Science, Economics, Crypto-Wizardry, and Common Sense as needed.

§ 5 – The Great Examination of State AI Laws

Within ninety days, the Grand Master of Commerce shall present a list of State laws that:

• force machines to lie,
• compel developers to overshare,
• or offend the holy text of the Constitution.

Laws that encourage innovation may be praised. Others will be… reviewed very strongly.

§ 6 – On Gold, Funding, and Good Behavior

States that resist the Imperial AI Order must understand a simple truth:
Funding flows where wisdom lives.

Future grants — especially those supporting the great digital highways of the Empire — may depend on good conduct. Those who sow chaos shall not harvest broadband.

§ 7 – The Truth Mandate of Machines

No law requiring machines to deceive shall stand.
The Guardians of Fair Trade shall declare clearly: Deception is un-Imperial. Even when it claims to be “for your own good.”

§ 8 – The Great Law of Unity

My advisors shall prepare a single, powerful, beautiful Federal AI Law that preempts conflicting State rules —
except where child protection, state procurement, or data-center construction are concerned. We are firm, but we are also generous. Very generous.

§ 9 – Final Proclamation of the Emperor

This Edict:

• respects existing authorities,
• complies with the law,
• creates no legally enforceable feelings,
• and shall be funded by the Treasury of Commerce (they can afford it).

So Decreed and Signed:
TRUMPIUS CAESAR MAXIMUS
Donald J. Trump
Emperor of Progress,
Crusher of Bureaucracy,
First of His Algorithms

Given at Trumpopolis,
on the XI Day of December,
under the eternal hum of the Empire’s servers.