For this was no ordinary day. Today marked the birth of a new decoration: the Mexican Border Defense Medal. A medal so new it was practically still warm from the mold, shiny enough to require sunglasses, and heavy enough to ensure that recipients nodded slightly under its weight. It was bestowed upon America’s service members who stood guard at the southern frontier—sentinels, protectors, modern-day legionaries—for their “extraordinary service in safeguarding the nation and upholding American sovereignty.” Words not spoken so much as proclaimed.

From Open Borders to a Triumph Arch

Not long ago, chroniclers sigh dramatically, the border was said to be a place where policy felt like an invitation and enforcement like a suggestion. An era in which apps decided more than fences, and intentions were stronger than concrete. And then—dramatic pause, imperial fanfare—a new President strode onto the stage of history. With him came order. Order delivered via reversals, resumptions, reinstatements, terminations, and the decisive pressing of very large, very symbolic buttons.

Under the resolute leadership of Trumpius Magnus, the southern border, according to official epic, underwent a “profound transformation.” Critics call it a reversal. Supporters call it a restoration. The Imperial Times calls it the journey from open barn door to total control with a marble pedestal.

Numbers That March Like Legions

No imperial chronicle is complete without numbers. Big numbers. Chest-out numbers. And here they come, marching in perfect formation:

More than 2.5 million illegal aliens have been removed from the United States—a figure so large it is traditionally announced with an emphatic finger point.
For seven straight months—seven—zero illegal aliens were released into the interior. Zero. Nothing. Nada. A statistical triumph now cited in advanced calculator seminars.

Illegal border crossings have dropped to their lowest level since 1970, forcing historians to dust off bell-bottoms to contextualize the era. The nation, officials say, is even on track for something previously considered mythical: net negative migration. A concept so bold that flowcharts briefly pause and ask, “Are you sure about this?”

The Cleansing of the Cities—Imperial, but Polite

Particular pride is taken in operations conducted in so-called “sanctuary cities”—urban strongholds where order once preferred to hide behind friendly terminology. Los Angeles, Chicago, Boston, Washington, Nashville, Memphis, Charlotte, Minneapolis—names now followed in imperial records by a new descriptor: operationally successful.

Tens of thousands of criminal illegal aliens, the Empire reports, were removed from city streets. Sidewalks breathed easier. Citizens rediscovered where they left their house keys. Even the pigeons appeared calmer.

Fentanyl, Falling Numbers, and National Relief

Another chapter of the border saga focuses on the powdered nemesis: fentanyl. Under Trumpius’ reign, the flow of this deadly substance has reportedly been stemmed. The number of Americans dying from drugs has fallen every single month. A sentence in the Empire that is always delivered with solemn nodding.

Border security as public health policy—a concept now praised in imperial circles as a “multi-domain victory.”

The Rescue of the Lost

Perhaps the most dramatic, nearly cinematic passage concerns the 62,000 migrant children rescued from exploitation. Children who, in a previous age, were said to have vanished somewhere between agencies, paperwork, and earnest press releases. Now, the story goes, they have been recovered—from labor exploitation, sex trafficking, and the darkest footnotes of transnational crime.

The Imperial Times notes reverently: heroes sometimes wear body armor.

Law, Order, and Beautiful Bills

No triumph is complete without legislation. Enter the Laken Riley Act, personally signed by the President with a pen widely believed to now reside in a display case. The law ensures that illegal aliens charged with violent crimes are detained. A statute so firm it sounds like marble stairs when read aloud.

And towering above all others stands the One Big Beautiful Bill. Even the name demands capitalization. It represents the largest one-time investment in border security in American history—concrete, technology, manpower, symbolism, all bundled together. Critics call it expensive. The Empire calls it planning for generations.

Jobs, Campuses, and Ideological Customs Checks

Beyond the physical border, the Empire insists, transformation has followed. 2.57 million native-born Americans gained employment, while more than one million foreign-born workers lost jobs—a labor report that reads like a battlefield update.

The number of new foreign students entering higher education fell by 17 percent, prompting universities to reacquaint themselves with domestic faces.
Meanwhile, vetting of aliens working in the U.S. has been dramatically enhanced to ensure that “evil, anti-American ideologies” find no room to thrive. Ideologies stopped at customs—a mental image that lingers.

All It Took Was a New President

At the close of this imperial saga lies a deceptively simple conclusion, ready to be engraved in stone:

All it took was a new President.

One who, on Day One, reversed policies, reinstated “Remain in Mexico,” resumed wall construction, ended catch-and-release, dismantled the CBP One app, suspended refugee admissions, and terminated taxpayer-funded benefits for illegal aliens.
One who declared transnational gangs—Tren de Aragua, MS-13, Sinaloa, Jalisco, Gulf Cartel, Northeast Cartel, Michoacán Family—not merely criminals, but Foreign Terrorist Organizations.

Thus concludes—for now—the chronicle of a border campaign described by the Imperial Times as historic, monumental, and self-evidently inevitable. Whether statue, medal, or law, one thing is certain: in the Empire’s history books, this chapter will not be printed in small type.

It will be bold.
With a gold trim.
And at least one trumpet.