IMPERIAL NOMINATION FROM THE PALACE OF GREATNESS

A Proclamation by Trumpius Caesar Maximus

Hear ye, hear ye, Members of the Senate, Keepers of Committees, and Professional Nodders of Washington!

I, Trumpius Caesar Maximus, First of My Name, Restorer of Common Sense, Defender of Statues, and Supreme Patron of Very Important Thoughts, hereby announce a nomination of historic, cultural, and frankly tremendous proportions.

With unmatched wisdom and absolutely flawless judgment, I nominate Michaelus MacDonaldus of the District of Columbius to serve as Grand Chairperson of the National Endowment for the Humanities, for a glorious term of four extremely successful years.

This appointment replaces Shellya C. Loweia, who now transitions honorably into that respected and spacious institution known as Former Appointees. A fine place. I know it well. Many people are there.

Michaelus MacDonaldus is a man of culture. A man of gravity. A man who understands that the humanities are not about canceling history — they are about writing history, winning history, and funding history very beautifully. Under his leadership, books will be read again, ideas will be allowed to exist, and footnotes will once more feel safe.

The Senate is now invited — encouraged — expected — to confirm this nomination swiftly, enthusiastically, and preferably with applause. Because when Trumpius Caesar nominates someone, it is never random, never weak, and never reversible.

This is not just an appointment.
This is a civilizational upgrade.

So proclaimed.
So nominated.
So undeniably great.