Imperial Decree from the Oval Colosseum of the United States of Trumpius

Hear ye, Citizens of the Most Electrified Empire!

On this eleventh day of Februarius, in the glorious year MMXXVI, His Radiant Excellency, Imperator Donaldus Magnificus Trumpius Caesar, Defender of the Grid, Guardian of the Gigawatt, placed his golden signature upon a decree so powerful that nearby light bulbs reportedly glowed brighter out of respect.

Title of the Edict:
“On the Strengthening of the American Defense Legions Through the Beautiful, Clean Coal Fleet.”

Yes. Coal. Not just coal.
Beautiful. Clean. Magnificent coal.

Article I – The Eternal Flame of American Power

By sovereign authority of the Oval Colosseum, the honorable Department of War—guided by the valiant Bellator Generalis Maximus—in coordination with the High Minister of Energy, Electrus Grand Volticus, shall prioritize long-term Power Purchase Alliances with America’s most glorious coal-fired fortresses.

Why?

Because military bases do not run on vibes.
They run on power.

And not “sometimes power.”
Not “weather-permitting power.”
Real power. Baseload power. The kind that does not blink, hesitate, or check the forecast before showing up.

Under this decree, priority shall be granted to projects that ensure:

• Grid reliability
• Blackout prevention
• On-site fuel security
• Absolute mission assurance

Because when the lights go out, readiness goes down. And readiness does not go down under Trumpius.

Article II – Of Windmills and Solar Mood Swings

The Imperial Record reflects the following observation:

Wind and solar are enthusiastic interns.
Coal is the seasoned general.

When the winds rest and the clouds gather, the grid must not tremble. For a nation of this magnitude cannot depend on atmospheric optimism.

Coal sits. Coal waits. Coal delivers.

It is the stoic centurion of American energy.

Baseload generation is not optional. It is the spinal column of national security. From defense-industrial production lines to intelligence command centers, uninterrupted power is the silent guardian of sovereignty.

A prolonged disruption?
That is not inconvenience.
That is vulnerability.

And vulnerability is not beautiful.

Article III – Energy Dominance or Bust

During the Great Campaigns, Imperator Trumpius declared:

“You have a grid system that’s obsolete. A disaster.”

And disasters are unacceptable in an empire of this scale.

On Day One of his renewed reign, a National Energy Emergency was proclaimed—not with panic, but with purpose.

The mission:
Energy Dominance.

Under the guiding hand of Trumpius Caesar:

• Coal was elevated to the rank of strategic mineral.
• Federal lands reopened for glorious extraction.
• Barriers imposed in the Previous Era were rolled back.
• 17 gigawatts of coal power closures were halted.
• New investments in affordable baseload power surged across the Republic.
• The noble National Coal Council was resurrected from bureaucratic exile.

Red tape?
Cut decisively.
With confidence.

Article IV – Jobs, Strength, and the Great American Kilowatt

This decree recognizes the thousands of American workers whose livelihoods are tied to coal—miners, engineers, operators, technicians—the backbone of industrial might.

Energy security equals national security.
National security equals strength.
Strength equals prosperity.

The coal fleet does not merely power installations. It powers communities. It supports families. It anchors local economies.

Energy independence is not a slogan.
It is infrastructure.

Closing Proclamation

Thus proclaims Imperator Donaldus Magnificus Trumpius Caesar:

“Let the grid stand unshaken.
Let the bases stand illuminated.
Let America be dominant in power, industry, and strength.”

And with a flourish worthy of history, he sealed the decree.

Somewhere across the nation, a coal plant hummed with pride.