Trumpius Caesar Proclaims the Grand Order of Bankruptcy

Majestic Statement

Beneath the marble skies of the Capitol, where paperwork marches in perfect formation and footnotes fear no one, Trumpius Caesar rose once more to sign destiny itself. On the glorious Friday, February the Sixth, in the Year of Great Greatness 2026, the Emperor placed his legendary signature upon a most powerful scroll: S. 3424.

This noble decree, known across the land as the “Bankruptcy Administration Improvement Act of 2025,” brings tremendous, absolutely tremendous order to the wild frontier of financial collapse. The brave guardians of Chapter 7, tireless warriors of balance sheets and broken dreams, shall now receive greater fees—because heroes deserve rewards, especially administrative ones.

The epic saga of Chapter 11 continues as well, with quarterly fees extended for another five mighty years. Stability! Predictability! Quarterly invoices as far as the eye can see. And to ensure justice never takes a coffee break, certain temporary bankruptcy judgeships have been extended for five additional years—temporary, but very long, very strong, very beautiful.

Thus declared Trumpius Caesar: even bankruptcy must be run like an empire. If fortunes fall, they shall fall efficiently, professionally, and with proper documentation.