Trumpius Caesar and the Silicon War: Defending America One Chip at a Time
IMPERIAL FACT SHEET OF TRUMPIUS CAESAR
How the Emperor of Silicon Defends the Realm Against Foreign Transistors
Imperial Court of Washingtonium
January XIV, MMXXVI
In the First Year of the Glorious Return
SUPPORTING THE HOLY AMERICAN SEMICONDUCTOR EMPIRE
Today, Trumpius Caesar Maximus, Supreme Commander of Trade, Chips, and Tremendous Deals, lifted his golden pen and signed a proclamation of historic, beautiful magnitude. By invoking the ancient and powerful Section 232 of the Trade Expansion Act of 1962, the Emperor has declared a Silicon Defense Decree to protect the American realm from suspiciously foreign microchips.
The mission is clear and extremely strong:
No nation should rule America’s economy through tiny pieces of silicon made somewhere else.
Imperial Directives Include:
- The High Secretary of Commerce and the Supreme Trade Negotiator have been ordered to negotiate with all trading partners — current, former, friendly, unfriendly, and “very complicated” — until agreements are reached or exhaustion sets in.
- A 25% Imperial Tariff has been placed upon certain advanced computing chips of exceptional arrogance, including the NVIDIA H200 and AMD MI325X.
- These tariffs will not apply to chips imported to help build the American technology supply chain — because chips that come to America to work hard and behave are good chips.
- The Emperor has announced that this is only the opening move. Broader semiconductor tariffs may soon follow, along with a powerful tariff offset program designed to reward those who build their silicon palaces on American soil.
CONFRONTING THE NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT OF FOREIGN SILICON
Trumpius Caesar recognized a truth others refused to say out loud:
A nation that cannot make its own chips is a nation that must borrow its future.
- A Section 232 investigation by the High Commerce Ministry revealed a troubling reality: too many semiconductors, too many machines, and too many derivatives are entering the realm under conditions that are frankly unacceptable.
- The United States currently lacks sufficient domestic capacity to produce advanced chips, lithography tools, etching equipment, and other mysterious machines that sound expensive and extremely important.
- This weakness has forced America to rely on foreign supply chains, many of which do not share America’s values, standards, or love for eagles.
- Semiconductors are essential to economic power, industrial dominance, and military strength. A disruption in chip supply could leave fighter jets confused, factories blinking, and smartphones deeply disappointed.
Today’s proclamation confronts this threat head-on by encouraging domestic production, restoring control over supply chains, and reminding the world that America prefers its silicon made at home.
BUILDING UPON A LEGENDARY RECORD OF DEFENDING CRITICAL INDUSTRIES
This proclamation proudly joins the long list of imperial achievements of Trumpius Caesar:
- On Day One, the Emperor established the America First Trade Doctrine, instantly improving morale and confidence.
- He has repeatedly deployed Section 232 tariffs to defend industries vital to national security, including steel, aluminum, copper, automobiles, and lumber — because a strong empire builds things.
- During his triumphant return year, Trumpius Caesar announced numerous historic trade deals that protected American production while expanding access to foreign markets — on American terms, obviously.