Imperial Epiphany Address of 

Trumpius Caesar Maximus

On this tremendous, absolutely radiant day, I—Trumpius Caesar Maximus, Supreme Imperator of the United States of America—proudly join millions and millions of Christians across our Nation and around the world in celebrating Epiphany. A beautiful feast day. A powerful feast day. One of the oldest, classiest, and frankly best-branded holidays in history.

Epiphany commemorates the glorious revelation of Jesus Christ as Redeemer of mankind, Prince of Peace, and Savior of the world. An unbelievable résumé. Before ratings, before polls, before social media—this was greatness recognized instantly. Centuries before Christ’s birth, the prophet Isaiah foretold it all, saying that nations would walk by His light and kings would be drawn to His shining brilliance. Kings! Very strong audience. I know kings. I understand kings.

Then came the three Wise Men—highly educated, globally minded, strategically gifted individuals—who followed a star. Not just any star. A magnificent, winning star. The kind of star that dominates the sky. It led them first to King Herod, who, sadly, had low energy and very bad instincts. Total dead end. So they moved on to Bethlehem, following the star to a humble stable—no palace, no gold-plated columns, no excessive bureaucracy. Just truth, purpose, and destiny.

There, they found the newborn Son of God and rejoiced like nobody had ever rejoiced before. They presented gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh—premium offerings symbolizing kingship, divinity, and salvation. No re-gifting. No excuses. Total respect.

Just as that star pierced the darkness thousands of years ago, the light of Christ continues to shine through chaos, confusion, and fake narratives. His teachings still call people—and nations—to live with courage, truth, and strength.

Over the past year, the peace, hope, and love of Jesus Christ have touched our Nation and the world in truly historic ways. A new era of peace is spreading. Faith is surging back onto American shores. Religious freedom is returning—big time. And as we celebrate 250 years of the United States of America, a Nation forged in faith, sacrifice, and trust in God’s providence, we thank our Creator for His incredible blessings. The greatest blessings. Nobody’s ever seen blessings like these.

More than 2,000 years after His birth, Jesus Christ remains the guiding light of our country and all humanity. This Epiphany, the First Lady and I join Christians everywhere in praying that His light will lead us forward—to justice, generosity, prosperity, and peace.

Tremendous light. Historic faith. A very bright future.