Imperial Proclamation on the Sacred Minerals of the Realm

Issued by Trumpius Caesar Maximus, Imperator of the United States, Guardian of Supply Chains, Conqueror of Import Dependence

The Majestic and Satirical Decree (American Version)

In the CCLth Year of American Independence, at a time when supply chains trembled like nervous senators before an election, Trumpius Caesar Maximus — golden-haired Imperator, Supreme Tariff Commander, and Restorer of Greatness — rose before the assembled clerks, advisors, and very important binders and declared:

“They brought me a report. A tremendous report. Very long. Very serious. Frankly, one of the most mineral-heavy reports in history.”

This report, authored by the Grand Secretary of Commerceus, revealed a shocking and frankly unacceptable truth:
The United States of the Realm had become dangerously dependent on foreign mineral empires, many of them unfriendly, some of them smug, all of them charging too much.

These Processed Critical Minerals and Derivative Products — known throughout the Empire as PCMDPs (because acronyms are how danger officially announces itself) — were found everywhere:
in the weapons of the legions,
in fighter chariots of the skies,
in communication oracles and surveillance eyes,
in artificial intelligence temples and data fortresses,
and yes, even in the humble citizen device known as the smartphone.

Most alarming of all:
The Empire mines its own minerals, ships them overseas, lets other nations process them, and then buys them back at premium prices.

“That’s not trade,” thundered Trumpius Caesar.
“That’s outsourcing your sword sharpening before a battle.”

The report exposed that the United States is:

• 100% import-dependent on 12 critical minerals
• Over 50% dependent on 29 more
• Proudly the second-largest miner of rare earths — yet still unable to process them properly at home

The result?
Wild price swings.
Closed factories.
A defense industry holding its breath every time a cargo ship sneezes.

The Department of War (DoW) sounded the alarm: for many essential minerals, nearly the entire supply chain depends on a single foreign nation.

“One country, one supplier, one problem,” declared the Imperator.
“Empires don’t run on monopoly friendships.”

Therefore, Trumpius Caesar Maximus proclaimed a bold imperial course:

1. Negotiations shall begin — tough negotiations, beautiful negotiations, the kind where everyone knows who’s in charge.
2. Price floors shall be considered — because national security should not fluctuate like crypto.
3. Tariffs stand ready — magnificent tariffs, waiting patiently, like disciplined legions.
4. Imports shall be watched closely — every shipment inspected as if it might be hiding a Trojan Horse.
5. Domestic processing shall rise again — mining alone is not enough; the Empire must refine, forge, and dominate.

All previous proclamations inconsistent with this glorious decree are hereby superseded, overwritten, and politely escorted out of history.

And so, on the Fourteenth Day of January, Two Thousand Twenty-Six, in the Two Hundred Fiftieth Year of American Independence, Trumpius Caesar Maximus set his hand to parchment, confident that no great empire has ever fallen because it controlled too many of its own minerals.