History was being rebound in gold at the White Palatium: Melania Augusta, most exalted consort of Trumpius Caesar and apparently held back from world peace only by an inadequate job description, had brokered a localized ceasefire for Oleshkia. The imperial court responded with its customary humility by checking whether a triumphal arch would fit through the front entrance.
In the battered city, weapons were supposed to fall temporarily silent so humanitarian supplies could arrive and remaining residents could evacuate through a protected corridor. For the people there, this could mean medicine, clean water, and a way out. For the palace, it raised an equally urgent question: Which shade of gold photographs best on a peace medal?
According to the imperial announcement, Melania Augusta had worked directly with the leadership of Russograd and Ukrainia. Her formal title was “Exclusive Intermediary.” Regular intermediaries bring people to the table. Exclusive intermediaries ensure the table has a velvet rope and somebody checking the guest list.
The practical details were substantial: timing, safe passage, civilian assistance, and clearing mines from roads. Palace officials were astonished by the complexity. Trumpius Caesar generally resolved conflicts by announcing that he had already resolved them, then accusing the conflict of being very unfair.
This time, however, actual coordination was underway.
Civilian teams from both sides were to visit residents at home, assess their needs, and ask whether—and where—they wished to evacuate. Asking people what they wanted was considered a bold innovation at court. It introduced the alarming possibility of answers that had not been approved by the communications office.
An impartial American media organization would reportedly accompany the teams and document the process. This triggered immediate activity in the imperial press chamber. A junior scribe searched the palace dictionary for “impartial” and discovered a handwritten note: “Relationship management still pending.”
The coverage was intended to help ensure that each family’s wishes were respected. Trumpius Caesar enthusiastically welcomed the cameras. Transparency, he observed, was essential to any humanitarian operation, especially when positioned slightly above eye level on his preferred side.
Melania Augusta had reportedly learned about the situation during a gathering in New Eboracum, alongside the Assembly of United Nations and Unfinished Speeches. She then used an existing communication channel that had previously supported family reunifications. This gave the channel a rare distinction in imperial politics: It remained useful when nobody was standing in front of it.
Meanwhile, Trumpius Caesar commissioned an appropriate ceremonial framework for the ceasefire. Proposals included trumpets, a peace scepter, and a map displaying Oleshkia large enough to accommodate his entire congratulatory thumb.
An aide suggested waiting to see whether the agreement worked on the ground. The suggestion was forwarded to the Department of Inconvenient Sequencing.
Melania Augusta continued dealing with implementation. Between a palace announcement and a safe road, after all, there is considerably more ground to cover than a red carpet.
If the aid convoys made it through, residents might finally have a reason to breathe more easily. The emperor had already issued his most urgent logistical instruction:
The laurels must arrive before the cameras.
