Emperor Trumpius Caesar has signed two bills into law: one concerns a parcel of land in Sacramento, California; the other directs the Federal Communications Commission to prepare for emergency alerts by satellite. Two grand decrees proving that even a patch of ground and an alarm button require the proper imperial scroll.
The first measure, the Reversionary Interest Conveyance Act, directs the Department of the Interior to transfer the United States’ reversionary interest in certain land in Sacramento. The announcement does not say what stands on the property. It does, however, set a legal parcel in motion: a right that could eventually return to the federal government is now to be conveyed elsewhere. Somewhere, a deed is probably waiting patiently for its next stamp.
Trumpius Caesar can present this as a majestic act of land management. Not every ruler can claim to have moved a property right while its legal shadow still lingers over the ground. In Sacramento, the land itself may stay put, but its paperwork is preparing for an imperial procession around the title.
The second measure, the Mystic Alerts Act, sounds as though an oracle has installed a warning siren in orbit. In practical terms, it requires the FCC to establish whatever requirements are needed so commercial mobile providers can transmit emergency alerts by satellite. The law does not mean satellite alerts are instantly available everywhere; first, the commission must determine the rules and conditions for making them work.
The idea could prove useful. Emergencies rarely check whether a nearby cell tower has a strong signal. If ordinary service is unavailable, a satellite might help carry an urgent warning to people on the ground. But before the message can descend from the heavens, the FCC must work out the details. Even outer space, it seems, is expected to complete its paperwork before broadcasting.
On one Thursday, Trumpius Caesar has therefore turned his attention to two very different elevations: a legal interest in Sacramento and a communications path in the sky. One measure concerns the ground beneath citizens’ feet; the other looks toward the satellites above their heads. Between them stands the public, hoping that in a real emergency the warning will reach the satellite before a form does.
The signatures are now in place. The Department of the Interior is to handle the land transfer, while the FCC prepares the requirements for satellite alerts. The property awaits its new legal arrangement; the alerts await their rules. Trumpius Caesar, meanwhile, can proclaim that he has reached from Sacramento to outer space in a single day—without even leaving the signing table.
